If you need a good laugh, I found these hilarious comics online that I know many of us pregnant women went or are going through right now. Enjoy!
Me, as a Parent, in 5-6 Years
My husband will just roll his eyes and say I have issues hehe!
I’ve Become Worse
I’m not going to deny that I was sort of a “bitchy” person before I got pregnant. I was just passive aggressive and kept things to myself. Sometimes I was even good at hiding my bad mood. No, pills aren’t needed. It’s in my blood. My dad’s side of the family has a history of tempers. Things have turned for the worse after pregnancy. I am more vocal and don’t keep things in anymore especially when it involves my step-MIL (I will save that story for another blog). Is it part of PPD? I have no idea. I always wondered why my niece’s mom (who is also my friend) was such a moody bitch after giving birth to my niece. Now here I am…
I read an article about a mom who blamed motherhood for being a bitch. Her excuses were:
1. Those first three months were my initiation into bitch-hood. I was exclusively pumping and chained to my Medela, couldn’t drink alcohol, and sleep-deprived. I wanted people to help me, but when they did, it wasn’t right. I didn’t like handing over my new baby to my MIL, or even my sister, because I felt like I should do it all.
2. All around sleep deprivation: Ask any new mom what she wants for Christmas this year and she’ll tell you: “sleep”. It’s always something: they need to be swaddled, they’re teething, they’re overtired, they’re going through separation anxiety… the list goes on. No sleep = no patience. No patience = total bitch.
3. Everyone has an opinion. Once you utter the words, “I’m Pregnant”, that’s pretty much fair game for everyone and anyone to chime in and give their expert opinion. Don’t eat that. Eat more of this. Rest. Exercise. Breastfeeding is better. Formula is fine. He needs socks. He should be walking. SHUT UP ALREADY, before I punch you in the throat.
4. My body is not the same. I get it, growing a human is a big deal—its a miraculous and amazing thing. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be completely pissed off that I will never fit into my favorite jeans ever again because my hips have decided they never want to revert back to their original state. Or that I’ve just given up on wearing Victoria’s Secret bras and have instead incorporated a multitude of sports bras that aren’t for “sports” at all. Let me complain about how long it took me to lose the baby weight even though I willfully put on 50+ pounds from all the ice cream I ate while pregnant. I’ll never get that pre-baby body back, so yes, I’m going to bitch about it.
5. I love being a mom, but every once in a while, I need some time to myself. I don’t want to have to wipe anybody’s ass, get toys thrown in my face, plan my day around someone else’s sleep habits (or lack thereof..) I want to do things by myself that go un-interrupted. Like spend 4 hours pinning awesome DIY crafts that I’ll never do or those 18-step recipes that I’ll never actually make. I want to eat a hamburger in my bed at 3 p.m. while watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. I need this time alone at least once a week, otherwise, prepare for the total bitch-mode that I will unleash on you, most likely when you first walk in the door after coming home from work.
For me, I only agree with #4. I was getting advice after advice, even from non-mothers, on what I should/should not eat, what/what not to do, etc. I was getting frustrated. I wonder if that pushed me over the edge. I would never say it’s motherhood’s fault for being the way I am. I hope, eventually, everything will change for the better.
Trial Run at Daycare
Yesterday, I had to drop off paperwork at the daycare that my daughter will be going to. I asked if I could leave her in the classroom to see how she would react to the caregivers and other children. Right when I put her down, she started crying. It took her about 15-20 minutes to stop, but she was crying on/off. Once she seemed content, I walked out and watched her via the monitors they had in the lobby.
I couldn’t really see as they were displaying cameras from all different parts of the facility, but I felt at ease because the teachers were so nice. It made me feel better, but after coming home, I was thinking how the experience went.
There was one little girl (we will call her “sweetie”) who was constantly crying because it was only the start of her 2nd week and she was still adjusting to the environment. The teacher mentioned that she could be hungry, but they try to sit them in the highchair all at once. Why couldn’t they feed her right away if she was, in fact, hungry? Maybe they are trying to put them on a schedule. They tried to console her, but Ms. Diane was also trying to console my daughter as well.
After I walked back into the room, I noticed “sweetie” in the swing and still crying. Ms. Comfort (yes, that’s her name) was near her and holding my baby at the same time. But Ms. Comfort was also trying to finish up feeding the other babies while “sweetie” was unhappy in the swing.
Don’t get me wrong, the caregivers are VERY nice. There personalities can’t change because they are all being watched on camera from parents and relatives at home and by anyone sitting in the lobby. The owner of the childcare center is also constantly walking around. I guess I am used to the one-on-one interaction, but I can see how it can be hard juggling all babies at once.
10 Comics Which Describes Me as a New Mom
#1 – Yes! I have noticed this recently with my LO. She says dada when she is in a good mood, but when fussy, mama clearly comes out.
#2 – The stroller dance is all too common. I lost her sunglasses and am very nervous of her getting sunburn even if it’s just walking from the car to the store. I’m such a worry-wart.
#3 – Haha! I’ve been waiting for her to crawl and now that she does, I want her to stop because she is getting into everything. The joys of motherhood. It is cute though!
#4 – Teething while reading. However, she sits still when I read her “Goodnight Moon” or “Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?” I guess they’re her two favorite books!
#5 – My left arm is definitely more muscular than my right. I needed to get more strength in my left arm anyway because I’m right-handed. No complaints.
#6 – This one cracks me up because I literally had my daughter in the Rock N Play trying to get her to giggle and coo on camera.
#7 – Oh, why me? I had a receding hairline, and it was embarrassing. Solution: Biotin supplements! Took a few months, but my hair is back.
#8 – Sorry, scissors or not, they are still a pain in the ass!
#9 – So guilty of this from day 1, and my LO is 7 months!
#10 – Well said!
Feeling Sick to My Stomach
So…next week, my baby girl will be starting daycare part-time on Tuesday/Thursday for 2 weeks. After that, she will be going full-time since I am going back to work. Initially, she was supposed to go to daycare when she was 3.5 months old, but I quit my job because I couldn’t get myself to leave her at that age. Also, the fact the daycare didn’t have a webcam made me feel a little uneasy too.
But I realized a month after that, she needed a better living situation. Where we live now is not very family-oriented. All day I hear loud cars, motorcycles, stereo systems, and cars speeding through the neighborhood. My husband and I decided to look at townhouses in a city where I used to live. This city is known to have one of the best public schools. We found a place which is bigger and very close to my family. We put a contract on it after I received word from my old employer that I can start working again in September.
The daycare I picked out this time is $300 more than the one she was originally enrolled in. The teachers are super friendly, it’s an accredited facility, and they have webcams. I felt so at ease. But still, after being with my little girl every day for 7 months, it’s hard to let her go. I definitely do not feel as sad as I was 4 months ago, but I am feeling butterflies and will miss being with her A LOT.
I have to remember I am doing this to provide a better living situation, to save money for her and my family’s future, and just to provide the best for her because she deserves it.
Wish me luck! I heard it’s hard at first, but that it does get better. I hope the 2 week transition does make it better before she goes full-time. I LOVE HER TO DEATH!
Attachment Parenting
This is my first child. I’ve waited so long to have a family, and now I have it. I love spending every waking minute with my husband and baby, just the three of us. What I am sick of hearing is making sure I have alone time with my husband to help our marriage even if it’s for an hour walking in the neighborhood. There is NOTHING wrong with our marriage and we have our quality time together when my little girl goes to bed, so what’s the difference?
I’ve been asked if I have left my baby with grandparents or a babysitter. No! I am not ready to leave her. She is 5.5 months. Sick of being asked! When she turns 5 or 6, she is going to want to be with her friends more than me. Time flies, and I want to enjoy this time with her. When I am ready to leave her, there will be no hesitation. Right now, let me be this type of parent.
As far as having time to myself, I am ok with leaving my baby girl with my husband and have done that quite a few times – getting hair done or meeting with old co-workers. So this is not defined as separation anxiety as others may think.
As I googled my way of parenting, I found this article from Dr. Sears which reassured me what I’m doing is ok.
“I don’t understand the Attachment Parenting concept. My sister follows your books. I am very concerned about the fact that she will not leave her 7-month-old son with our parents. Do you feel that there should be a bond with grandparents? My parents are very upset about this. I feel for his father, as there is no bond. The mother child bond is very important but what about bonding with family, friends, society? The father has only been with his son once by himself in 7 months!! How does this play out?”
How your sister is raising her infant may seem foreign to you, but she is just doing what comes naturally. This is how this will “play out”:
For the first year or two, a child is primarily bonded to his mother. We see this pattern in many animal species, too. I wouldn’t be concerned because this plays out very positively. Kids raised this way grow to be very bonded with their parents and out of this grows great confidence as they reach school age. As a result, they are ready to take on the rest of society. Mom and her infant develop a bond that is so strong, it is an instinct for both of them to be together. They learn to read each others subtle cues — they “tune-in” to each other. Most infants tend to “need” their mommies quite frequently, so it is difficult for mom to be more than a few minutes away. My wife wasn’t ready to be away from her baby for the first year and I respected that. Then, later, when our child was a toddler and had some other baby friends, we were able to get away for a quick dinner. Later that year my wife felt more comfortable leaving longer so that we could go out for a movie. When our child was four-years-old, we were able to take a few days away.
Dad’s involvement certainly is less during the first 6-9 months, but he should try to spend time holding and rocking the baby. Mom should try to help by letting him hold baby when baby is well rested, and in a good mood. Setting dad up for success like this will help them to develop a good bond. Dad’s bond usually is much stronger once the baby is a toddler. Yes, I did feel a little “left-out” when my kids were very young, but as they reached 1-2-years-old, I was able to get more involved. We had fun going for ice cream or to the park.
Now, about leaving the infant with the grandparents. Most of their child-raising experience came at a time when moms were encouraged to separate from their babies at a very early age. Many moms relate this story to me: While visiting the grandparents, or at a family get together, grandma was holding my two-month-old baby (nothing wrong with this). After a while, my baby got fussy for some reason. Mom’s instinct kicks in telling her to respond to her baby’s cries, but Grandma says, “He doesn’t need to eat yet”, or “Oh, don’t worry, crying is healthy for him”. It’s amazing that some people still think that babies need to cry to help their lungs develop. It is very difficult for a mom to see her baby fussing on grandma’s lap. This is a very hard time for mom, because she doesn’t want to appear rude by insisting she get the baby back, yet it torments her to see her baby unhappy. Nobody else in the room understands this struggle because they don’t have the same hormonal connection as the mother. Then grandma starts asking to keep the baby for an entire weekend! Mom could never allow the baby to stay with someone that doesn’t understand his needs. The time for weekends at grandmas will come – in a few years. Believe me, by this time, mom and dad will really need a weekend alone! When it is time to leave the kids for a while, it is important that they stay with somebody that they are very familiar with. We left our four-year-old with friends that had kids the same age. Our daughter knew this family very well and felt comfortable with them. My wife and I also felt comfortable with the other mom’s sensitivity to our child. I have talked with many moms (my mother included) that left their infants (me, when I was two-months-old) for a few days at a very early age. When they returned, they felt very disconnected to their baby and had a very hard time re-establishing their bond.
There will be times when your sister’s child appears “too bonded” to his mother. I have seen many kids in my practice that I thought were too dependent on mom. Moms insist that they know their kids better than anyone, so I didn’t interfere. It always seems that about a year later (usually when the kids turn 3-5) there is a sudden blossoming, a “weaning” of sorts, and the child says, “All my needs have been met; I must be a pretty special person; I have the confidence I need to take on the world.” I am always amazed at how these “needy”, “clingy” toddlers grow into very well-adjusted kids.
I hope this gives you some understanding of how well your sister is parenting.
Until then, please leave me alone and don’t judge me for something that comes naturally!
One and Done
That’s what I thought initially during my pregnancy and delivery. I was even content on my decision the first couple of months after having my little girl.
It’s really hard at my age (41) to take my time before having the next. It’s either have another baby soon or not at all. That’s a hard decision to make. I am exhausted and not because taking care of a baby is tiring, but I’m tired because of my age. I don’t have the energy like I used to when I was in my twenties and thirties. But I look at how I grew up with a sibling, and I look at how my husband doesn’t have a big family. My girl will grow up in a small family, and I feel bad for that. I’m sure she will find close friends she will call as family, but they are not the same. I only have one niece who I hope the two will become very close. This is why I don’t plan to separate them at a young age. We live about 20 minutes away from each other. My idea of moving to a different state will not happen as soon as I thought, if it happens at all (my husband may disagree). But whatever.
Technology has changed so much. Since I got pregnant at 40, I was being by high risk doctors every month. I was fortunate and blessed that everything went well, and I had a healthy baby girl. The only scare I got early in my pregnancy was the Echogenic focus in my baby’s heart. Echogenic intracardiac focus (EIF) is a small bright spot seen on an ultrasound exam. This is thought to represent mineralization, or small deposits of calcium, in the muscle of the heart. EIFs are found in about 3-5% of normal pregnancies and cause no health problems. But they are also link to defects. This focus faded a little, so I was happy!
After hearing Savannah Guthrie pregnant with her second child at 44 (she had her first at 42), it made me feel better that other women around my age are still getting pregnant and that it is OK. It does not make me selfish. I love being a mom. I just wish I met my husband 10 years ago. We probably would have three kids by now. But hey, life doesn’t always go as planned. But we will try for a second, and I kind of look forward hearing siblings fight over little stuff.
Be Thankful Everyday
Being part of a community group in WTE, I never thought I would talk to a lot of women who have either lost a child or their baby becomes very ill right after birth. Some struggle to even conceive. We take life for granted without realizing how lucky a lot of us are that we can get pregnant and give birth to healthy babies. This morning, I read something from the WTE forum that just broke my heart.
Mom from the December 2015 board
This post is going to be very emotional for me. I won’t be offended if anyone wants to ignore it.
My son has been in the hospital for a week now. I’ve always known something was very wrong from the time I was pregnant, but I’d wished I was wrong. He’s gotten an MRI on Tuesday and surgery today. His doctor gave me the results of his MRI on Tuesday. We don’t have a diagnosis, but she told me that it is suggestive of mitochondrial disease. It’s degenerative and it will kill him. He’s already lost his ability to smile. I only got to see him give me smiles for about a week or two. He no longer cries. He can’t eat and we had to have his g tube placed today. I think he may have begun having seizures yesterday. It seems so aggressive and there’s no telling how long I have left with him. But I can expect it to only be a short time. I’ve never even heard of this before this week.
I am heartbroken, I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I’m going to outlive my child. He’s such a sweet boy and doesn’t deserve a fate like this. I can’t stop crying. I just wish he could have a chance to grow up. I’m going to hold him and love on him and cherish him as much as I can everyday that I have him but I don’t know what I’m ever going to do without him.
I feel so bad for her and hate to see any mom go through this. Prayers to her and her LO.
Why I Had to Choose Formula
Before giving birth, I was set on breastfeeding and was very excited to bond with my baby in that way.
My first attempt to breastfeed was a challenge. It was painful but expected. I had the nurse come in multiple times to help get my baby to latch. It wasn’t working, and I broke out in tears in front of two nurses because I just wanted to feed my newborn. They set me up with a lactation consultant and let me tell you how helpful this nurse was. Even though her shift ended in 30 minutes, she stayed with me for an hour. She told me the reason why my baby wasn’t latching was because she was tongue-tied. She suggested I see a doctor to get it fixed because it could also cause speech problems. She taught me how to get milk by using the hand expression method and helped me get a little bit of breastmilk to feed my baby. She then guided me through breast pumping and showed me which one to buy to save money. This nurse was an angel and was patient with me the entire time. So the best thing I had to do at that moment was feed as much breastmilk I could produce and supplement with formula. I felt so guilty, but the nurse reassured me that there is nothing wrong with formula. But still, I was sad about it.
At this point, both of my breasts were extremely sore. I used a soothing gel and gel pads but it only temporarily relieved the soreness and throbbing. I followed the nurse’s advice and pumped every 2-3 hours even though it was excruciating. In a few days, I noticed I was producing more milk. Then a few pumps later, it started getting less and less. I was getting stressed which probably didn’t help the situation. My daughter got her tongue-tied clipped, and when I tried to breastfeed, she still wasn’t latching right and my boobs were still very sore. A day later, I had given up because I wasn’t enjoying the time with my baby. It took me awhile to accept, but I did until…
I visited my primary care to check out lumps I felt in in one my breasts. She asked if I was breastfeeding and I said “not anymore.” She goes on to say how breastmilk is best for the baby. Ugh! Yes I know that and thank you for making me feel like sh*t. I wanted to and I tried, maybe not hard enough? I don’t know. It was more important for me to find other ways to bond.
I still get jealous listening to other women who breastfeed. But I am glad my DD was able to get some of my milk for a week rather than nothing at all. I read an article that I stumbled across, and I’m so glad I found it:
“here is what I would say to any pregnant woman and new mom who is struggling with breastfeeding: It is totally OK to NOT breastfeed. Try it. Hopefully it works for you. Pump if you have to and want to. But do not, under any circumstances, let it drive you insane. Do not feel bad if it doesn’t work. Do you know how many women have a difficult time and issues with supply with their first baby?! SO many! There’s nothing wrong with you. You are doing a great job, you are a great mom, and all that matters is that your baby is FED. Your baby will benefit more from a happy and healthy momma, than from breast over bottle. And a big FU to anyone that tells you otherwise!”
This definitely made me feel better and hope it makes others feel less guilty with their decision to use formula.
My baby is healthy, growing, and being fed! I must be doing something right.
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